Daily Post: The Panda pit


I know that you all are thinking that I am going to write up some little ditty about the morning after…the morning after I had sex with the little trollop who is a prostitute by all accounts, the little “lady,” who isn’t a lady at all. Well, I wouldn’t say that she is a prostitute in the conventional sense of the word, but she may as well have been a prostitute. She’d sell herself on a usual basis to the highest bidder. Her international organization is, was and probably always will be funded by the World Wild Life Fund. Pandas are extremely endangered and little understood animals. “Just 5o cents for these animals will go a long way in helping…” but it is too true that the environmental legacy of not just the panda and many other forests depend on their continued existence. This is also true about a number of species that are rapidly dying out, because of careless behaviors that can be helped. These behaviors can happen in our lifetime. You all are probably not real interested in the morning after I made sweet love to the famous Danica Patrick. That was a personal moment. She, Danica, is hardly the little Go Daddy trollop that some pass her off to be. Danica is a fine young woman. She may be slightly misunderstood by many, particularly older and rival siblings, who try to latch on to the driver’s popularity, but she handles popularity and wealth well, her lawyers ensure that. Some lawyers more than others. After only 8 months Danica married husband Dean. She kept her name, Danica Patrick. The two were married and went to New Zealand and Australia for their honeymoon. After 12 days Danica and Dean came back to the US. Danica and Dean are deep into their “Panda Rights” cause. Their recent honeymoon trip to Australia was not only a chance for the two to get away, get some alone time. It was also an opportunity to look further into the Panda Rights movement, as if they needed an excuse. They went. For 10 days they were to set off for New Zealand and the Australian Outback. They had originally planned on just under a couple of weeks and they ended up staying for 14 days with some time in Indonesia. This was all; done through the works of the International Organization and American an American racing federation, which for some reason had Thai interest. It was something out of “The King and I.” When the two, Danica and Dean, returned to the US after their Australian trip, they began paper work. They began work to adopt a young Panda. It would be quite costly, but it would be very meaningful to both and it would hopefully be meaningful to the rest of the world, a slice of what some people can accomplish. Through Danica and Dean’s contributions, both monetarily and commitment the world might be headed in a positive direction. Danica and Dean make an annual pilgrimage to their home in New Zealand. The embarrassing part of it all; and believe me, it really takes a lot to embarrass me. The embarrassing thing was when I woke literally bared assed. I was in with a Panda! The first thing I thought of was here is a bear, because it was pretty big. That thing could have torn me apart like; it could have ripped my nuts off and had them for. I don’t know why my nuts were top priority at that moment in time, but hey, that is what popped into my head (hey, I didn’t even mean the pun, head, as in dickhead, haha). Anyhow, (by the way me and my nuts made it out in one piece).  But, for some stupid reason [Actually, it wasn’t too far from stupid, because I pretty much did the same trick a few years ago to a student friend]. I woke in this Panda pit scared, yes, mostly scared, I was nestled in the arms of this sorta young panda the mama Panda? The mama was outa sight. My friends had somehow managed to, now this was the pit at the Science Museum, The London Science Museum, and then they have a little zoo there, too. The mama was fortunately outa sight cause she surely would have ripped my nuts fight from my sphincter. There would have been no tomorrow. The zoo people got it all under control real fast. The first they did was they made sure mama was in some isolated area. Gee, being able to get the mama away from that little panda must have been a real trick. But then, you see, even those little pandas are pretty damn strong. I could feel the strength even on my breath. I was scared. I can’t believe this! I thought for a second, “This damned stunt!” I couldn’t blame my friends for pulling this on me. I could only congratulate them. It wasn’t quite like last time, “You see, we sorta have this thing going where we try to outdo one another.” Last year, I won’t forget it. It was harmless, but…uh…memorable. I was naked. I was alone. I was in the Panda pit with a friggin’ Panda!           

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